Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Do you still have your period?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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