do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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