I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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