if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize
