When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
