I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
