Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
