Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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