Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize
