I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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