as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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