Your tits are I can't wait for
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
