kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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