youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Couch. On fire.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
