you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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