i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
