meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
