Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just threw up on my dentist
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize