guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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