elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
