i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
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hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
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Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
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