I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
That accounts for only three of the penises
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
