I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
