S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
