Your dad touched me again.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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