Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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