I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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