My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
do nipples grow back?
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