we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
