For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
