i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
