I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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