i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
