All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
