I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
