She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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