i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
