i barfeds in our rink
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
