You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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