I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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