He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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