i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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