you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
