Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
