Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
