How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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