I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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