rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize