the new term for farting is butt boxing.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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