so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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